The Art of Joy by Goliarda Sapienza

Author:Goliarda Sapienza [Sapienza, Goliarda]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780141972862
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2013-07-04T06:00:00+00:00

57

‘Three months I’ve waited, Modesta. Three times I watched the moon wax and wane with the protracted pace of a life sentence. Why do you want to condemn me to this solitude, why?’

‘I’m not condemning anyone. I don’t have the heart to listen to anyone anymore. My heart has become a wasteland, and the name Tudia is now stamped on me like a mark of death.’

‘Damn Vincenzo for coming between us! I feel like a wolf caught in a trap. Why did he do it?’

‘He was a Fascist.’

‘Don’t be silly; he was no Fascist! He was out of his mind! That morning before going out to meet his death – death makes you talk, you know! – he told me things … unspeakable things about our father, which I can’t even stand to think about.’

‘You see how the memory is still too vivid between us? Let’s wait a little longer. Maybe in a year … If Beatrice would at least snap out of her psychosis and if her innocent child, Bambolina, could only swallow a sip of milk without spitting it up. Bambolina is wasting away, and I’m tormented by it. Now go!’

‘For three months I’ve had your face imprinted on my eyes, night and day. Come away with me! There are other places outside this narrow-minded island. I’ve seen them … I’m not like those people who look at me disapprovingly because I haven’t avenged Vincenzo’s death. I haven’t even wanted to find out who did it or who didn’t. I don’t want to know anymore. I don’t give a damn!’

‘Don’t say that!’

‘On the contrary, I’ll say it! And I want you, even if it was a friend of yours who killed Vincenzo, even if it was that Jose …’

‘Jose didn’t leave my house even for a moment.’

‘You’re defending him, are you? So say it: you’ve changed because of him. Say it! Since he set foot on this island, you’ve changed.’

‘I’ve changed because of Carlo’s death, Mattia. Try to use your head.’

‘No! The death of a brother-in-law can’t change someone to that extent!’

‘He was a friend.’

‘No! I don’t believe it. It was that Jose, and if you want to know, I came to the funeral to see him, just to see him.’

‘So?’

‘I saw him! Mattia isn’t fooled. That guy has the body you like. He’s a man I’d like to test my skill against, by God! Arrogant, solid as a rock, and contemptuous! If it weren’t for you, I’d like to ask him a thing or two!’

‘He’s gone, Mattia. Stop ranting. I won’t see him again. I read in his face that I won’t see him again.’

‘You don’t fool me.’

‘Like I read in your eyes that day at your father’s bedside that death could come to me from you. I won’t see him again.’

‘Again she says it. She says it again, almost in tears! Don’t you see that he’s captured you, at least in your imagination?’

‘That’s enough, Mattia. Get out!’

‘No! Not like this, you fiendish lava devil! Not with that sentence hanging over me.

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